Saturday, October 29, 2011

From Pyongyang to Bet Shemesh

He is truly our Dear Leader. He selflessly supports the masses from upon high. His knowledge of science, engineering, management and the medical arts astound even the most prominent experts. Without skipping a beat, he provides “on the spot field guidance” to craftsmen and engineers alike, and radically improves industrial efficiency.

Kim Jong Il, general secretary of the Workers′ Party of Korea and chairman of the National Defence Commission of the DPRK, provided field guidance to the construction site of the Wonsan Army-People Power Station.

Kim Jong Il provides field guidance to Migok Cooperative Farm in Sariwon

Kim Jong Il gives on-the-spot guidance at the Anju Chicken Farm.

Kim Jong Il Provides Field Guidance to Rakwon Machine Complex and Soap Shop of Sinuiju Cosmetics Factory

Has Chadash Asur really transferred his dubious affections to the Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea? Has Bet Shemesh nothing more to offer a poor blogger looking for egregious examples of a would-be personality cult gone bad? Will CA start snacking on kimchi and change the name of this blog to 울트라 정통 단지 사랑 받기 원함 ???

Fear not, for our local water corporation has ensured that I hardly need to go so far afield.

There is a whole legal and governmental history behind these new municipal water corporations. But all CA knows is that some time last year, 16% VAT was suddenly added to his bill and several members of his nuclear (no pun intended) family were deleted from the allocation on his monthly bill.

Indeed, the establishment of Mei Shemesh (Sun Water in English - sounds like something the Lubavitchers drink on Simchas Torah) also had some financial impact on the life of one Reb Yeshayahu Ehrenreich. Readers of Chadash Asur will recall that Yeshayahu, a chain-smoking one-time tactical mayoral hopeful, already runs Meuchedet's system of medical clinics in BS. He also finds the time to run a restaurant in Ramat Gan, and is now riding the wave of Mei Shemesh.

Municipal elections are still 2 years away, but Yeshayahu already feels the need to show us just how far he has gotten in his quest to lead. During the recent holiday season, residents of our shtetl all received a glossy all-male 32-page magazine with a useful fridge magnet in a colorful bag (perfect for any yungerman to carry his belongings around in). Let's check it out.

On the right we see Yeshayahu riding the local waterworks in his Sunday best. Harmless.

But here we get an inkling that if Mei Shemesh got a nuke, it would be on the State Department's travel advisory board. Peled Dichter, CEO of the corporation and a regime loyalist, tells us that none of these hydro-wonders would have been possible without "the involvement of our leader, Yeshayahu Ehrenreich, who guides the corporation's activities, gets down to the smallest details, and knows how to make the right decisions using sound and professional judgment." That's it, I'm buying a 50-gallon drum to store water in my yard.

Our leader gives on-the-spot guidance to the Mei Shemesh computer technicians.

Our leader gives on-the-spot field guidance after a pipe blew and half the city had no water.

Guess which of these guys actually know what they are doing with that valve, and which one is giving them on-the-spot field guidance.

Hey, which way is mizroch from here?

Our leader giving on-the-spot field guidance while scoping out a potential tashlich site.

One day, this will all be mine.

For dessert, our leader either wants us to know just how many millions of shekels pass through his hands, or that he wants extra funding for a Mei Shemesh magazine editor. You tell me why we are being berated, like a bochur caught cutting seder, for not recognizing just how great our Great Leader really is.


Anonymous said...

Mocking Fearless Leader? You @#$%^&* heretic! Ain't you never heard of "das toirah"?

Rafi (S) said...

Brilliant! ROFL.

Brooklyn Refugee Sheygitz said...

A good friend and neighbor works for them. I will get the inside scoop soon.

MiriamS said...

When I got that brochure I really thought I should save it for something. That contrast of the guys who used to run the place and the guys who now claim to was so over the top....

Anonymous said...

"When I got that brochure I really thought I should save it for something."

Like La"g b'omer?

Rafi G. said...

somehow a number of these booklets recently published by the Iryah never made it to my mailbox. I dont remember seeing this one...

Anonymous said...

Great! thanks for the share!

Anonymous said...

who watched the Oscars?

Anonymous said...

Korea's fearless leader is dead. Im yirtzeh Hashem by you Beit Shemesh folks soon.